The Evil Minds Research Museum certainly beats padding around the Natural History Museum on a Sunday afternoon.

The museum, located in the basement of the FBI’s Quantico headquarters, houses various artifacts collected or created by some of the world’s most notorious serial killers including correspondence, drawing and paintings.

Needless to say it isn’t open to the public and is used as a resource for agents to gain insight into the minds of human predators.

The painting on the left is by John Wayne Gacy.


Isn’t it time criminal mastermind Fu Manchu made a return to the big screen?

The dastardly exploits of Sax Rohmer’s fictional character put the Chinese tourist industry back a few years in the first half of the 20th Century with his ever inventive schemes for world domination.

One of his most fiendishly diabolical plans included coating the lips of some brain-washed babes with a rare man-killing poison who are then sent off to seduce the world’s leaders. What a plot! Jane Austen eat your heart out.

Fu Manchu was an oriental version of Sherlock Holmes’s nemesis, Professor Moriarty, and also had a detective rival in the shape of  Nayland Smith and his sidekick Dr Petrie.

Rohmer described his protagonist as ‘a person, tall, lean and feline, high-shouldered, with a brow like Shakespeare and a face like Satan, … one giant intellect, with all the resources of science past and present … Imagine that awful being, and you have a mental picture of Dr. Fu-Manchu, the yellow peril incarnate in one man.”

Yikes! You don’t want to be ordering your chicken balls from this bloke.

Rohmer’s portrayal of an Oriental baddie offended a lot of people with its negative stereotyping. There are some hilariously over sensitive comments including the claim that it ‘perverted Chinese masculine expression’ and was an assault of ‘effeminate stereotypes on Asian men.’

Rohmer responded bullishly to saying that his portrayal of Fu Manchu was “fundamentally truthful” because “criminality was often rampant among the Chinese.”

It’s a good job the English aren’t so sensitive about always being typecast as bounders and cads.

Jul 262010

What happened to the killer ant film?

Oh for the glory days of Them, Phase IV and Empire of the Ants when a little radioactivity went a long way and mankind had a proper fight on its hands.

Cold war paranoia seems to be coming back into fashion these days so it can only be a matter of time before the bugs follow..


It’s a good job there are so many creepy crawlies because the Weapons of Mass Destruction available for deployment on the shelves of local hardware stores are both plentiful and merciless.

Why look for some mad scientist in the depths of the Iraqi desert practicing the arcane arts of black biology when the local branch of B&Q suffices?

It’s Armageddon time for our myriad eyed friends. And what choice there is for the weekend assassin.

Dead Fast (rat killer), Sonic Mouse Repeller, Fast Acting Mouse Killer and the Ultimate Mole Trap – what the fuck does anyone want a mole trap for in east London? – are available over the counter to deal with our four legged foe.

Insects can look forward to be dusted, sprayed and carpet bombed with everything from Advanced Slug Killer and Bug Free to Vine Weevil Killer and Ant Killer Powder, while quiet old weeds face a bath in Root Kill Plus, Deep Root Ultra and Bramble Killer Ultra.

Kill, kill, kill is the order of the day if you aren’t human. Even my mum gets that mad gleam in her eyes like she’s marching down the glen to battle when you mention slugs in the garden.

“I hate them. I hate them,” she says with a passion usually reserved for anything English. She’s a Danish/Scottish cross which singles her out as potential Berserker stock. Such tempremental genes should never  be given distilled reindeer urine suffused with Fly Agaric and an axe at the same time unless you want heads to roll.

Anyway, I’ve wandered from the beaten path. My mum’s favoured coup de grace is pouring boiling water over slugs first thing in the morning while they lie bloated after a night gorging on her prized hostas. There is more than a touch of Dr Mengele about it.

Somewhere in a quiet seemingly normal compost heap the insect generals gather and prepare for battle …

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