It’s coming home, it’s coming home, football’s coming home. No it’s not judging by England’s fumbling start to another World Cop campaign. A draw against the USA? It all has a depressingly familiar sense of deja vu.

We had all the momentum of a paraplegic coming out of the traps minus his wheels. Algeria are our next opponents whose greatest claim to fame is that Albert Camus used to be their goalie back in the day.

It is inevitable that we will make a mountain out of a molehill and labor to a narrow unconvincing victory. England expects (to be on the next plane home shortly).

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