Whatever rakish image I have of myself in my head crashed today when I was stopped in a department store by some old guy irritably demanding that I show him where the trousers were.

‘I don’t know,’ I said.

‘Don’t know? Don’t know?’ he replied waspishly looking me up and down. ‘You work here don’t you?’

‘No,’ I said shocked anyone would think I was a gusset dispenser and waved him off in the general direction of the underpants and socks section.

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