I thought I’d pulled a master stroke in budget shopping by buying up a week’s worth of Heinz Great Value Weight Watchers Meals. A steal at £1 each for 300g of atomised fodder to righteously tighten the fiscal belt.

So, I sat down to feast on my evil coloured stew of chicken curry to find Heinz have taken the budget maxim to heart by including one solitary lump of chicken on a bed of gently curling rice. A feast fit for a midget and it tasted like putting your tongue on the end of a battery.

 

I finally read Fight Club 14 years after everyone else and was amused by anti-hero Tyler Durden’s passion for service industry terrorism, including relieving himself in the house soup, sneezing on artfully displayed cutlets and farting on the creme brulee because it ‘holds the fragrance.’

However, fact is often stranger than fiction. Oh, to have been a fly on the wall in MacDonalds press office when the newspapers rang up about this one.

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