Oops. Looks like the skiver’s granny really did kick the bucket last week when I suspected him of using it as an elaborate ploy to watch the World Cup.

This may, of course, be some deep cover deception designed to detract even the hardest of cynics from scenting his latest break for the border.

Still, we have three weeks of the tournament left and plenty of scope for skiver to go down with some bogus ailment or vague all afternoon meeting at an undisclosed location (the front of his TV).

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