There’s more than a touch of the X-Files about the hospital grounds I work in. It’s not helped by the NHS’s love of cryptic names and my over active imagination. There’s the deserted Bungalow 5, the Phoenix Unit and Suite 5136. Of course, the effect gets lost when you turn the corner and see the family planning unit and on-site cafe discharging the stink of a thousand bastard fry-ups.

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