Facilities Management which would in a previous life been aligned with the Gestapo and named something along the lines of the Facility of Co-operative Management and Correctional Rendition has been flexing its muscles in the workplace again.

We received a global email warning from facilities forbidding staff not to take tea bags intended for meetings from the kitchen. I duly ignored this as a mardy bastard and went down on an early pilfering raid to be met with a stern message on successive doors warning we would be shot at dawn if any further chai went missing.

A ‘polite notice’, my arse. It’s only a matter of time before the spotlights and dogs appear.


The Reichstag has taken the opportunity of our recent move to stamp its jackboot on office life.

A prim lipped email has been circulated asking people to not speak too loudly on the phone, refrain from loud ringtones on mobile phones and be careful not to stain furniture.

Someone had the audacity to spill their tea on one of the easy chairs downstairs sparking an investigation by the office Nazi.

This is discounting the stains left by the sycophantic dribbling of our glorious leader as she runs around ko-towing to anything senior with a pulse.


I’m not a comic book fan but somehow stumbled across a bizarre and highly entertaining list of superheros adversaries with Aryan tendencies.

They range from Red Skull and Nazi spinster Dame Kackle to America Smasher and the Agent of 1000 Faces

Who compiles this stuff? Adolf would be turning on his grave.

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