The portents are all around. The horned one is coming. We’ll be supping on Brimstone and chewing burnt steak by the end of the year.


The fortunes of workplace departments tend to be cyclic and a new employee can join at any time during the cycle of eternal drudgery.

You could start work with a new influx of fellow staff and be part of a rebirth, which is like the dizzy ascent of a rocket. You could join an established team and flourish under its prosperity or be part of the dying planet that has been plundered of all its resources and is about to implode.

I’ve seen them all come and go a few times but am currently on a dying star that has had the misfortune to drift into the path of a black hole.

The dying star is the NHS and the event horizon is health minister Andrew Lansley who is happily dismantling the organisation into bite sized chunks for the private sector to consume. The Conservatives are nothing if not predictable.

The work place signs are all there. The lack of camaraderie, humour and patience. The aimless empty blustering of senior officers who offer false assurances while planning their own escape and the resignation and listless air of the condemned who plod on because they don’t know what else to do.

Guy Fawkes. Where are you when we need you?


The auspices of the recession are used to bring into play all manner of thumb-screws on employees.

Slippery eel speak is the order of the day. People are being asked to do more for less and the unspoken word is that we’ll be collectively selling bootlaces on a street corner by Christmas.

In an effort to allay fears, our glorious leader is about to embark on a floor-by-floor ‘meet the riff-raff’ tour where he will reassure us that all is well upon the burning boat and we should stay at our posts.

We’re doomed when that barracuda in a suit decides to walk among the great unwashed.


It seems everyone is having to work harder to make ends meet these days

Intergalactic bucket-head Darth Vader is no exception having been caught on CCTV trying to rob a bank in America.

One day the galaxy, the next New York. How the mighty fall.

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