You have to laugh at some of the current terminology used by the National Health Service in describing job cuts.

Downsizing, staff rationalisation, ratio reduction, cost saving efficiencies, market lean workforce and effective staff redeployment (to the dole office) are just a few examples of management speak which allow the masters of the universe to think of us all as jelly beans and  potato chips. Where is ‘V’ when we need him?


Our beloved finance team has emailed its latest list of austerity measures detailing how we must engage in shallow breathing during office time to save the NHS oxygen.

The three most laughable recommendations for cutting this year’s multi-million pound debt include switching to second class postage stamps, reducing use of stationary and cutting down the availability of hospitality sandwiches for meetings.

The one that really got me puffing was ensuring ‘the Sickness Policy is implemented effectively.’

Anyone reading my curmudgeonly diatribes will know what a joke that is considering the antics of our resident office skiver who’s off again this week.

What next? Water rationing and licking down envelopes to save on glue? It looks like we’ll be breaking up the furniture for firewood this winter.

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