Gadzooks. I can’t believe they have re-made Piranha which was possibly the worst ever premise for a horror film bar killer rabbit movie Night of the Lepus.

The original film, which the director loftily tells us was a parody of Jaws, focused on the aftermath of military project to infest the rivers of ‘Nam with genetically modified piranha.

Cue skinny dipping teenagers being devoured ten to the dozen, gratuitous riverbank sex and the waterways of America running red with theatrical blood.

The sequel featured flying piranha – now THAT is more like it – so the body count could be cranked up and land lubbers sunning themselves on the river bank could be slaughtered by the ensuing airborne assault.

Hollywood’s greedy maxim that a remake is guaranteed a quick financial return is threatening to back-end itself into current releases they are so desperate to keep the money flowing.

Expect a musical remake of Harry Potter within the year.

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