The loafer put on an Oscar winning performance to ensure he saw the opening match of the World Cup today.

He blustered into the office in a faux panic to tell us granny was ill and the family had been called to her bedside ‘immediately’ as the old dear was in God’s waiting room.

I’m sure it was a pure coincidence that the football was on that afternoon.

Loafer is going to be taking more time off than Bob Crow this summer while convincing everyone but himself that he is being worked into an early grave.

The mind boggles at the delusion that washes through his cranial lobes.

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