Oops. Looks like the skiver’s granny really did kick the bucket last week when I suspected him of using it as an elaborate ploy to watch the World Cup.

This may, of course, be some deep cover deception designed to detract even the hardest of cynics from scenting his latest break for the border.

Still, we have three weeks of the tournament left and plenty of scope for skiver to go down with some bogus ailment or vague all afternoon meeting at an undisclosed location (the front of his TV).


The loafer put on an Oscar winning performance to ensure he saw the opening match of the World Cup today.

He blustered into the office in a faux panic to tell us granny was ill and the family had been called to her bedside ‘immediately’ as the old dear was in God’s waiting room.

I’m sure it was a pure coincidence that the football was on that afternoon.

Loafer is going to be taking more time off than Bob Crow this summer while convincing everyone but himself that he is being worked into an early grave.

The mind boggles at the delusion that washes through his cranial lobes.

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