Shops always go to town on Xmas decorations and I was glad to see the local funeral director getting into the spirit of things this year with display headstones artfully dusted in fake snow along with fairy lights weaving in and out of the various display caskets.

I’m sure the bargain hunters will begin surfacing soon. I have my eye on a nice biodegradable wicker coffin in the window giving worms instant access to their Christmas dinner.


The quiet backwater of Christmas is almost upon us and work mercifully slows to a trickle. It is the season of internet surfing, extended lunch breaks and out-of-office meetings. Those who have fled leave their bounty behind for us jackals to feed on.  There won’t be a mince pie or Quality Street sweet tin left un-plundered by close of play next week.

My belly is already swelling like a watermelon from the pre-Christmas gorge but hamster mentality has seized those of us who remain and we grow fat and idle on the biscuits of the departed.


I can’t believe it. Some elf has already got their Christmas decorations up in the window and its only October! They must have the mother of all advent calenders.

Never mind, I’m sure Xmas will be banned as an overtly Christian celebration at some time in the near future as you can see from some of these councils who seem embarrassed about Christianity:

March 2008 – the National Association of Local Councils wrongly advised Bideford Town Council in Devon that it could be sued for opening its meetings with Christian prayers.

June 2005 – Torbay Council removes a wooden cross from the wall of a crematorium chapel, and renames the building a ‘ceremony hall’.

May 2005 – Norfolk County Council warns a Christian-run shelter for the homeless that it will lose £150,000 of funding unless it stops saying grace at mealtimes and putting out Bibles for use by guests.

November 2005 – Islington Council bans Christmas lights and replaces them with “festive decorations”.

December 2004 – Peterborough City Council bans staff from sending each other Christmas greetings by email.

November 2004 – Worcestershire County Council is urged by one of its ‘equality champions’ to scrap its 116 year-old tradition of beginning its bi-monthly meetings with Anglican prayers

December 2003 – Buckinghamshire County Council banned a church from publicising its Christmas services on a community notice board to avoid offending other religions.

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