I can talk some right old tosh in my cups but hope I don’t descend to the featureless plain of banality two work colleagues were trudging over today.

One was bemoaning the fact that he had left his egg sandwich in his bag all morning instead of the fridge (I bet they worry about that one in Baghdad every day). It went something like this (cue monotone voices):

Drone one: “I left me egg sandwich bag in my bag yesterday.

Drone two: “Oh no. Really?”

Drone one: “Yes, the egg went off. I ate it without realising and had a real stomach ache last night.”

Drone two: “Oh no.”

Drone one: “Yes, i won’t be doing that again.”

Drone two: (No response due to information overload).

Drone one: “See you later then.”

Drone two: “Yes, see you later.”

Ernest Hemingway would be turning in his grave.

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